How to Cook Up a DXpedition

Chef: Nigel, G4KIU

To prepare the perfect DXpedition:

Ingredients:
1 x Rare DX location
1 x License
1 x 20ft. container
16 x Yaesu Transceivers
10 x Yaesu VL-1000 Amplifiers
30 x Antennas
5 x Kilometres of cable
20 x Laptop computers & logging software
32 x Top DXpedition operators
32 x Great senses of humour
1 x Web site
Numerous x Sponsors and other help
2400 x Cans of beer

Utensils:
Lots of screwdrivers, spanners, cutters, soldering irons, drills, beer glasses and sticking plaster.

Method:
Start planning early, gathering together your ingredients from a variety of sources.

Identify your rare location and apply for a licence. Wait a considerable period of time for license to mature.

Start to gather your team of operators from around the world. Take care to select a team who mix well together and will travel well from many countries.

Begin to stir things by beating up the logging software, although beta testing may prove more productive.

Produce financial projections to cover the cost of ingredients and start to collect money from team members. Discuss finances and equipment ingredients with potential sponsors.

Let the mixture develop for several months, checking progress on a regular basis. Meanwhile, tell everyone what you are cooking-up through a web site.

Bring together the transceivers, antennas, cable and many additional items and store carefully in a large pot (or warehouse if you have one). Take photographs to be used later in evidence.

Stir most ingredients together and stuff them into the container. Put the container onto cold salty water for several weeks, to assist its movement a third of the way across the world. Reserve the operators and beer, for later use.

After several weeks, stuff operators into a plane and fly them to a small island in the middle of nowhere. Remove container from salty water. Open and empty ingredients, hoping you have brought everything. Drag ingredients across your island for an hour in baking heat.

Feed operators beer, making sure they erect the antennas on the outside of the shacks and install the equipment inside. (Depending on quantity of beer, this may prove difficult).

When your jet-lagged and exhausted operators have spent 18 hours a day for three days in alternate extreme heat/extreme tropical storms, place in front of transceivers and watch them become buried in large pile-ups.

Continue to apply beer to operators and insist they reduce the size of pile-ups before letting them rest. Repeat.

Result:
Feeding of the amateur radio world with a smooth operation ready to be enjoyed by all.

Bon appetite!